Fun Stories

Jan Ashford
There is no such thing as can’t, only won’t. If you’re qualified, all it takes is a burning desire to accomplish, to make a change. Go forward, go backward. Whatever it takes! But you can’t blame other people or society in general. It all comes from your mind. When we do the impossible we realize we are special people.

Charles Swindoll
“We cannot change our past.  We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.”

Resolve to stay brutally optimistic. 
See the opportunity in every difficulty and anticipate the most favorable outcome of every situation.  Whatever you look for, that’s what you’ll find.  We can get better or we can get bitter; it all depends on the lessons we draw from each experience.  Optimism is like electricity – very little happens without it.  Know this truth:  you have all the resources you’ll ever need to handle all the challenges you’ll ever have.  In true emergencies, the true you will emerge.

A brief cover letter
Hello i am inquiring about the field service technician position you may still have availble i beleive i have the skills you may be looking for i have attatched a resume and look forward to speaking with you for this sounds like a very interesting position that i would love to join as a team member of your organization.
Please make yours more professional

Resume from a candidate
My name is xxx, you want to hire me! I cook, I can clean, I have accounting skills, with accuracy, I can work alone, in groups, supervise, teach others, and a positive additude.  I AM HONEST, LOYAL, AND RELIABLE!!!
Those quailtys aren’t easy to find, don’t miss your chance, I will work for you.”
Maybe, accuracy isn’t a perfect skill!

Erich Fromm
“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person.  Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.”

Jason Jordon
“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” 

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow.  Our life is the creation of our mind.”

 Gen. Douglas McArthur
“Age wrinkles the body.  Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

Lou Holtz, Football coach and commentator and motivational speaker
Ability is what you’re capable of doing.  Motivation determines what you do.  Attitude determines how well you do it.”

Gen. George S Patton
“Always do more than is required of you.” 

Michael Jordan, All-star basketball player with Chicago Bulls
“I have missed more than 9,000 shots In my career.  I have lost almost 300 games.  On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game’s winning shot….and missed.  I have failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.”

True Work Stories:
1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.  
2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. 
4. Quote from the boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what ‘I’ say.”
5. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. 
6. We recently received a memo from senior management saying, “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.” 
7. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!”
8. This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it. 

Sent by a candidate:
For the past five years I have had the unique opportunity to stay at home and help to raise my children and take care of my family. No doubt, this has been the hardest job I have ever had.   In addition to caring for the children I have been focused on managing the family’s investment portfolio and growing net worth. I have also been actively involved in several volunteer activities including establishing and running of Watch Dogs (Dads of Great Students) for the local elementary school, coaching the baseball team and managing equipment for the elementary football teams for several years. I have also had financial responsibility for our horse breeding and training business “Take 2 Farms.”  Responsibilities include:   Financial planner, chef, therapist, maid, chauffeur, and ATM

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer’s invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term “Ship High In Transit” on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term “S.H.I.T ” , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the ce nturies and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golf term.

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Management Recruiters – North Canton
7300 Whipple Ave
North Canton, Ohio